I started asking myself more deep soulful questions when I went out into the world, to a place where I could not find my base; I found no comfort in knowing what was going on around me. I was not in a world that was in any way like the one I grew up in, I was in another world, somewhere also on this planet, but in another world.
When seeing people doing every little thing differently; walking differently on the streets, interacting in a different way, praying to a different God, thinking about solving an issue in ways I had never ever thought about; and not having any of the values I grew up with, I became ashamed of my shallow confidence.
I was striving for humility, asking questions, trying to find some answers. Most of the responses I could not apply in “my world”. And that is the beauty of it. This of course was a longer process, but there will be time for that story another day.
Since I have so many questions about myself, humanity, the world and the universe, I thought maybe a good idea would be to share these ideas with whoever wants to spend some time getting beautifully confused and calmly settled at the same time along with me.
There is a certain feeling of panic when you shake your believes. Posing questions, feeling the solid ground under you slowly starting to crumble, and building beautiful new pieces of yourself is a strongly conflicting process. When I say conflicting, I mean confusing, healthy and eye-opening.
Asking questions might seem like a very shallow thing at times. We do it every day a number of times: What do you want to eat? What are you doing tomorrow? What time is it? Are you ready?
The ”revelation” that occurs after asking “why” is at times too strong for us to face. Asking why, truly asking yourself, jumping off the cliff, provoking an earthquake in your strong system of beliefs has so many antecedents and consequences.
It is normal, natural and human not to know, to be on a quest, to discover and share parts of it with the world.
There are so many things I do not know. I am a very small fraction of a very tiny particle in this universe. I matter because I am part of it, but I am not a game changer in the grand scheme of things. So why are we scared of showing what we do not know? Why do we think we are in control, that we are aware, that we have answers, when in fact we do not?
All in all I guess what I would like to express is that being free is also being confidently lost, and calmly looking for answers.
It is all beautiful and a part of you. If you accept it, it continues to shape you each and every day, feeding your mind and soul with new unexplored gorgeous adventures that make your life.